7 Ways to Teach Your Kids the Art of Giving!

 

Let’s start with one question! How often your kids refuse to share their birthday gifts with friends at a party? Many parents must have experienced their children getting possessive of their things, which they do not like to share or give to other fellow children. It is one trait that parents should really be worried of! No mother or father likes to see their child go uncaring about others as they grow up. Hence, inculcating the spirit of giving in the children should be at the highest priority in the parents’ agenda.

|According to Deborah Spaide, the author of ‘Teaching Your Kids to Care’ –

Children love being helpful (it makes them feel grown-up), and volunteering gives them the chance to experience the deeply rewarding payoff that comes from making someone else happy. |

Let’s take a look at 7 ways you can make your child go giving! 

1. Begin with creating three piggy banks for your kids. Ask them to create them for themselves. As unless kids are involved themselves, they won’t find this interesting. Ask your kid to keep one for saving, one for spending and one for the purpose of donations. Let him or her decide the amount he or she wants to give to charity.

Save and share money

2. Organize a kid’s charity event, wherein you along with your kids can sell the products you both made together. This could be the cupcakes, pastries or knitted clothes etc. Now ask your kid to donate the earned money to help someone in need.  

3. Make your kid’s birthday party a charitable one! Encourage the guests to bring non-perishable food items or clothes or toys that can be donated to the underprivileged children or street children. Make your son or daughter understand the importance of giving away on his or her birthday. Now, go to the orphanage or children’s hospital or any place you want to distribute gifts and let you kid give them all away from his or her own hands. This will make him or her happy!  In case of toys, ensure that they are in good conditions and do not hold any safety hazard to another child.  

4. Your kid may not wear all the clothes lying in his or her wardrobe. Ask him or her to sort out the unused ones or the ones he or she likes to wear. Now, encourage your kid to donate the unwanted clothes to the one in need. This activity will form a habit of giving unwanted items to those who are in need of them. 

Donate unwanted clothes

5. Undoubtedly, the value of time is precious. Giving away your time for the goodness of others can turn out to be a valuable teaching for your kid. You could cook a meal with your kids and then share it with your neighbors or help a senior person with gardening or cleaning the lawn. Keep your kid involved in the helping activities.  

6. Keep extra pens, pencils, folders or papers in your kids’ bag and brief him or her that these extra items are to share with his or her friends, if they do forget them to bring along.

 

7. Last but not the least, walk the talk. You can be a good role model to your kid. Children often adopt the habits from their surroundings and most importantly from their parents. Hence, if they witness the spirit of giving in you, it is most likely that they adopt the spirit faster than you have imagined.

"If parents do it, children will do it."

Hope you will try these activities and raise a giving cum graceful child for future!

Give your kid the gift of giving!

 

 

Suicidal Tendencies in kids

Recently we came across a news in the morning papers that an 11 year old boy jumped from 10^th floor of his building over a tiff with his mother .

You may read the whole story here.

This shocking incidence not only compelled us to have a deep thinking but also scared us to the core.

I avoided my 12 year son from getting hold of that particular newspaper and also discussed it with my spouse in hush tone in private. I feared that reading this episode might present the ghastly option of suicide in front of a soon to be teenager because statistics show that  1 in every 100, 000 kid in between 10 – 14 years commit suicide making this number the fourth largest cause of children dying in this age.

Of course suicide  is a topic no parent wants to contemplate but we do see glaring news of the same very now and then . These are people like you and me , kids from friends and family and when you come across such disturbing incidences from amongst people you have known closely , it does send down I chill.

In today’s time we pay so much attention to all round development of our children, their materialistic needs, educational requirements , whims and fancies. Yet either the kids seem to have low tolerance levels or we as parents are giving more than what is required. Even dangerous might be that we are overlooking the obvious changes in their behavior because we our disillusioned by being a good parent.

So please parents look out for these warning signs in children to deal with suicidal tendencies in kids it effectively

• If you find suicide notes around the house , take them seriously
• If you hear kids threaten you with the word , you ought to hear them out for what the matter is
• Saying things like ‘ I ‘d better be dead’  or ‘ I wish I could disappear forever’
• Writing stories about death, dying or suicide
• Giving away their prized possessions to friends or siblings
• Acting secretive
• Being disinterested towards their dressing up, appearance or weight
• Drastic change in their daily routine
• Withdrawal from friends or family
• Increased self harming incidents
• Being accident prone suddenly

Being a parent you will be the best judge to take note any such warnings. There can be many triggers to developing suicidal tendencies :

Depression being the foremost reason of the same. Kids might get depressed owing to factors like failure in academics, high expectations from parents , sibling rivalry , non acceptance by friends , hormonal changes.

Difficulty in distinguishing fantasy with reality . Kids get lured by fictional characters from books or movies . They try to ape them but fail , be it gaining the attention of a girl in the class or achieving insurmountable success. The reality disappoints them and this may lead to development of suicidal tendencies.

Phobias and disorders: Children may over  period of time , due to circumstances , develop a fear of things like crowd , rejection , anxiety , loneliness . It just might just get too much to handle all of it together. Parents should strictly stay away from putting too much expectations and pressure on kids of this age.  At times, due to hormonal changes, kids between 10-14 years tend to become introvert. So they won’t be able to share their feelings with you and your suggestions or scolding may have deep impact on their mind provoking them to take the extreme step.

Conclusion

If you suspect that your teenager is suffering from depression, talk to him. May be you don’t have to prod into the reason right away , but just be there with him and talk a lot about things which will take his mind away from topics that may be disturbing him.

Be gentle and offer support with any problem that he discusses  with you eventually. If they feel that you are going to lecture them once they share their problem , it will get difficult to get into their minds. Look back at your yester years and try to be very compassionate towards your teenager. They are coping up with way to many issues, so help them relax.

Dear readers , we wish the best of health and safety of your kids.

How to increase concentration during exams

You have planned meticulously a time table for your kid to prepare for his exams. He sits down to study being fully aware that this is his study time. Yet when you come in a few minutes later to check on him , he is making doodles , or fidgeting with his pen or just gazing into the blank.

Yes this is simple lack of concentration.

Concentration involves the abilities to focus, screen out distractions, delay gratification, and regulate impulses and emotional responses. Poor concentration is a common complaint by parents and teachers alike, and our all- time enemy. And the worst is, it evades us when we need it the most – studying at night for an important exam the following day, for instance. 

To help our kids increase concentration here are some practices which you can undertake

1.    Inculcate the habit of writing down :

Though most of the students shy away from this practice but it is definitely much more focused method of studying than reciting or just mentally repeating the text. You should encourage the child to understand the chapter and then make notes himself. This way he will have  a better understanding of the content and since he will be more engaged analytically , he will pay full attention to his course.

                                                  

2.    Perform Mental Gymnastics:

Developing concentration is not a one day activity. You should be at it with your kid on a regular basis and you can make this a fun activity by playing games . Choose game that stimulate the mind, particularly those that make use of strategy, will build verbal skills, plus improve powers of concentration, perception and reasoning. Here are some recommendations for brain-building games you can do as a family:

  Chess

·         Checkers

·         Crossword puzzles

·         Cryptograms

·         Word jumbles

·         Scrabble

·         Mathematical puzzles

3.    Give them the power of affirmations:

Like it happens with us adults , the thing we fear the most is bound to come along our way some or the other time , so it happens with the kids. If they dread a subject , they will find it haunting them , making them loose confidence and the will to study it. Make them believe that they can perform well in every subject . Make them say ‘ I love chemistry’ ( if that’s what they hate ! ) and you will see ,, gradually this affirmation helps them get comfortable with the particular subject.

4.    Practice Meditation :

Yes of course , you can teach this to  a kid as young as 2 years and elder ones are in dire need of it. Make it a routine that you practice meditation ( it can become a very good family event) together. Meditation will help them keep calm and get rid of anxiety which in turn will enable them to focus on their studies.

5.    Active Body , Active Mind:

No one can negate the importance of physical exercises. When kids are allowed to play and outdoor game or take a walk or exercise during exams it helps open up their lungs making them feel lighter , more energetic and willing to complete the task taken in hand which presently are the exam preparation. Exercising increases blood flow to the brain and also stimulate hormonal responses that increase mental sharpness. Relaxing sleep of minimum 10 hours thereafter will  balance out his physical requirements.

6.    Keep away from sugar:

If your ward is having problems with concentration, the first place to look in is your kitchen! Check his diet – breakfast, snacks, Tiffin and dinner, for sugar content. Most of the times, kids consume a lot of sugar through their favorite snacks, breakfast and other food items, which results in them getting a sugar rush! Sugar rush is nothing but the presence of the excessive sugar in their bloodstream that makes them hyperactive which makes it difficult for them to concentrate on one singular thing at a time. Furthermore this sugar rush tends to fade away in a span of 3-4 hours and this leads to them becoming lethargic and irritated, further hampering their chances of having a good concentration

7.    Balanced diet :

Macro biotic expert Tarika Ahuja , founder Sacred Swan who has authored the book Beautiful Children : a parent's guide to raise healthy children , suggests that including whole grains like brown rice and ragi are very useful in increasing the concentration of foods. Since these are whole grains , they take longer time to break down hence making the kid feel fuller for longer period of time which in turn decreases snack breaks and  improves focus.

                                          

A great nutrient balance is the only thing that helps the brain function optimally.

So you should plan out a menu that is an ideal mix of carbohydrates, proteins and essential nutrients that will provide your child with enough energy and also help with optimal mental activity. 

Some healthy food options that you can offer to your child include: 

• Whole wheat peanut butter sandwich with a banana and a handful of nuts.
• Cereals dashed in with chopped nuts and raisins
• Dosa/ omlette / poha
• Buttermilk or fruit yougurt.
• Mix green leafy vegetable in roti dough.
• Roasted fox nut (makhana)

One thing that is highly recommended  to all parents is to ensure your child has a few leaves of tulsi every day. It is a great tool to manage stress and also boost the immune system. Your kid falling sick is that last thing you would want this time.

So finally , just give all your support to your kid and they sail with flying colors this exam season.

All the best !

PS : for your lovely little kids find an easy to make  ragi biscuit recipie here.

Exams : For child or for parent

It’s time to shelve the constant messaging on whatsapp or checking of latest updates on Facebook.

Why you ask?

It’s exam time!

Wait a minute, but your kid is having his grade finals right, not you.

But realistically, parents are equally stressed out during this time. Yes dear parents, that time of the year is here which is dreaded equally by students and parents alike.

Parents experience a similar level of stress, anxiety and mental pressure during exam time. Parents often feel like it is them who are giving the examination instead of the child. Lives begin to revolve around a flurry of tuition and tuition teachers, strict time-tables and academics. Unfortunately, we as parents start giving so much attention to each and every minute spent by the kid during this time that it ultimately builds up a huge dilemma and tension for the child.

Children will by default start feeling anxious and become overtly vulnerable towards the outcomes of the exams. With so much perceived to be at stake, it is not surprising that children find themselves experiencing very high stress and anxiety levels. Exam-related depression, black-outs and suicides have become alarmingly common.

 Parents tend to relate their past experiences to their kids present situation. They strive to set all those things right which were expected from them in the past without realizing that they are making the present and future of this kid highly susceptible.

Examinations are conducted to evaluate your kid , not you or your teachings. It is imperative that parents strive to help their kid during exam time rather than making the environment all the more stressful.

Some of the following tips and pointers should help you get through this challenging time.

Be Calm yourself

Whether your kid is star performer or an average student, whatever his or her academic performance is, they are already concerned about the approaching exams. In this scenario your effort should be towards mitigating their anxiety and not add to it. This will surely improve their performance from the present level. It is essential that you do not pass your anxiety on to your child as this can hamper his performance and ability to concentrate.

Reduce stress levels

Optimum stress

 An adequate level of stress will enable your child to take his examinations seriously and work towards it accordingly. Preparing the kid mentally, as the exam draw closer, will help them gear up for it with better focus and diligence It might be that during this time children complain of an inability to concentrate, may become irritable or seem depressed and can lose appetite and have sleep disturbances. If you feel your child is unable to cope, it is a good idea to get him/her to speak to a counsellor.

Give space to your child

Rising early to do the notes suited best for you. But it might not be the same with your kid. He likes night study .

As they grow , they tend to develop their owns methods and strategies to study and handle examinations. What worked for you may not work for your child. Instead of being adamant about a particular way of studying, let them devise their own means. Provide suggestions and support, as it is your duty as a parent, but then let the child follow what he or she finds most comfortable for themselves. It is important to give him/her space to figure out what works for best or him by not interfering in his/her study habits.

It’s not the end of the world

Please remember, one examination and that too in primary or middle school does not define the course of your child’s career. But it can surely define or destroy the more subtle parts of life like your relationship, their perception towards failure and ability to handle challenges. Be realistic about your child’s capabilities and not be blurred by your expectations. All your kid needs at this point is your unconditional support ….no fear , no rewards , no bargains.

A healthy mind in a healthy body

As a parent , nutritious food at regular intervals is the best support you can give. A healthy diet consisting of fruits and vegetables, keeping away from fried snacks and caffeine in the form of coffee and colas help in keeping the mind and the body alert. Proper sleep of at least eight hours will help them to concentrate better.

Provide a quiet & clean ambience to study

Yes you have to cut down on your tv time too because it is quite probable that he will be having his preparatory leaves. So when he is home, disturbances like television, mobile gaming etc. can distract him . Avoiding these things yourselves would be beneficial. The parents should play an important role in providing quiet and clean ambience to study.

Keep up the motivation

Appreciation is the greatest motivation. Acknowledge your child for all the efforts he or she is making. Help them in building a respectable self esteem and keep up to it. To mention here again, it should be within the limits of their capabilities. A little extra doze of hugs and love will create a happy atmosphere for the kid. Your support in maintaining  cool and calm environs might motivate him to put in longer hours of study.

Examinations are not a ppunishment

Examinations are not punishment

Banning tv or playing with friends will do more harm than good. In a bid to increase study time , parents take such drastic measures.  They are kids and recreation is vital for their health. It is important for the child to have some forms of recreation and to take breaks from studying. Examinations are nothing but a life-skill to help teach time-management, stress-management, performance under pressure, planning etc. which is so important for later life. Exams should not be turned into a punishment  neither for the kid nor for the parent.

It is natural for a parent to want his/her child to have a great result and high performance. It is also natural for a parent to be anxious about his child's performance in examinations to get into that elusive college/university. But let’s make it equally natural to understand that our kids will receive what they are destined for. We can only be the facilitator, guide and guardian. Let’s not try becoming the monarch.

Let’s help our children look at examinations as a learning process and as a life-skill rather than a monster. This attitude can help free both students as well as us as parents of exam related stress and anxiety.